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Ruth Nicholas

Cracked Open

Finding the courage

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Being seen and heard are two things I grapple with.

I of course want both these things, but my actions usually tell a different story.

I vividly remember a particular moment in my childhood (perhaps 6 or 7 years of age) desperately wanting to play with this one girl at a family function. Painfully shy as a child, I had my back turned to her . . .

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September 30, 2016

I'm Incubating

I may not be impressive.

I may not have done anything noteworthy with my life, thus far.

I may never have been that girl who raised her hand in school, or volunteered to be a project leader, or team captain.

I may never have been that girl who got A's in every class, who listened and contributed to each and every topic of conversation, . . .

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August 29, 2016

What Is

I lie on this twin bed.

Now my marital bed, once my sister-in-law's... who is now 32.

Hundreds of fluffy white clouds parade the blue wallpapered walls.

Teenage posters and album covers, faces of the famous, hang before me. Some sag and buckle with the weariness of time. Smears of blue tack streak from their corners.

A dejected pine . . .

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August 21, 2016

Dead End

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Our time in New Orleans has come to an end.

In fact, we have literally hit a dead end! Our apartment complex backs up to the levee... a monstrous grey wall that has stared at us in mocking silence every day since last September. Imploring us to open our eyes and see that we have actually hit a wall.

Until a few weeks ago we have remained . . .

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July 08, 2016

A Perfectionist's Battle

I spent four hours yesterday rewriting a post I'd written and published on my blog six months ago. Then today I read it, hated it, and switched it back to its original version. Meanwhile I'm still not 100% happy with it...

I am totally perplexed why I would waste so much precious time agonizing over an old post, especially since there . . .

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June 25, 2016

Who Am I, truly?

Caught up in a web of confusion

I have decided that life is like a wash cycle.

Imagine for a second that childhood through teens is the wash, rinse, and spin cycle. During this time society attempts to make us all "smell" (or become) the same... rules, behavior, etc. Then adulthood arrives and we get tossed into the tumble dryer, forced to explore, mix and mingle. . . .

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Posted in: life muses

December 14, 2015

Get up, Get dressed, Get out!

Time for a System Re-boot

This morning I was feeling stuck.

Totally immobilized from stress overwhelm. There were a zillion things I should have been doing but the stress took top billing. All I could think was to call on the wisdom of my mother-in-law.

And her advice?

Get up, Get dressed, Get out!

It was that simple. So I did.

It was a breezy day today in New . . .

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Posted in: my journal

October 21, 2015

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