Our time in New Orleans has come to an end.
In fact, we have literally hit a dead end! Our apartment complex backs up to the levee... a monstrous grey wall that has stared at us in mocking silence every day since last September. Imploring us to open our eyes and see that we have actually hit a wall.
Until a few weeks ago we have remained stubborn. Our hopes raised time and time again by things popping up out of the blue. Old projects making renewed headway. Brand new assignments knocking on our door. Golden opportunities that seemed to sparkle and twirl their way through the door, only to make silent departures the following day.
Each one, at the time, feeling like a sign to stay.
Tossed back and forth, it seriously has felt like a southern spell got cast upon us the day we arrived and we've been swished about in some giant witches cauldron ever since. The fluke moments that allowed us to bob up for air, gasping with relief, always ending with a swift downward shove by the gnarled fingers of a cackling witch. Who for some reason does not feel we are welcome here.
Well. Perhaps the witch is right. We are after all northerners.
So it is with very sore heads that we finally concede. The wall has spoken. Louisiana was only meant to be a pit stop. An important one though, considering all the lessons we now get to take home; as tough as they've been to swallow.
It is very interesting to look back and see all the clues we ignored because of how badly we wanted this. The bread crumbs we stepped over in the years leading up to our departure now flash at us like neon lights. Taunting us. Putting our good judgement to shame. I'm embarrassed to say I even have a 'red flags' list typed into my phone from over two years ago! But still, we moved forward.
Although I can't blame us for being fooled.
There are two types of liars in this world. Bad liars (like me!) and seasoned liars, ones that truly, with all their heart, believe their own lies. They are usually seductively charismatic, highly intelligent, and while completely self absorbed will lead you to believe they have your best interests at heart, displaying over the top generosity and comradeship (you know, just like the sincere investment broker that skillfully lures your trust only to leave you penniless a year later). And they always have the most eloquent excuses, and logical scapegoats, if ever someone questions their broken promises.
So there is NO shame in being fooled by the seasoned.
It is therefore pointless for us to waste time kicking ourselves. My red flags have long been trampled on and squished into the dirt beneath our clumsy feet. They no longer matter. What matters is what we learned while here; lessons I'll be sure to blog about in days to come.
Message received loud and clear, monstrous grey wall. It is time.
Time to about face, hit the road, and head back home.