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Ruth Nicholas

Butterfly Kiss Goodbye

The beauty in death

I had the strangest reaction to the final episode of 'The Big C'... a television show about a woman dying of cancer.

Besides being a teary eyed mess by the end of the episode, I woke up the next morning still crying!! The thought of her being gone. Leaving behind her teenage son. Her husband. Her brother. Family and loved ones. But . . .

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February 07, 2015

Self Sabotage

The day I crashed my own party!

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It fascinates me how one innocent moment in my life. A moment that should have been fun, carefree and joyous, can turn into such a pivotal moment of regret for the rest of my life.

It all started with a simple decision.

A choice that I made when I was maybe 8 or 9 years old, that has clung to my memory like a parasite ever since.

The only . . .

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February 05, 2015

The Age Old Battle

We all live it. Breathe it. Endure it. But do we ever accept it?

AGE.

For me, it all started when I was 30. Until then it never crossed my mind. I think in some unrealistic, fantastical part of my brain I actually thought I was going to escape the process.

I was an anomaly. An exception to the rule. Aging didn't scare me because it . . .

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Posted in: about me

February 03, 2015

Connecting the Dots

Searching for life's purpose

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At the time it seemed like such a ludicrous question.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I scrunched up my nose and frowned. How could I possibly know the answer to that question? I hadn't even finished High School.

I looked at my dad and shrugged my shoulders, replying indignantly.

I dunno!

End of conversation. We never spoke . . .

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Posted in: about me

February 02, 2015

Sixties Baby

The strength of a mother

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I am someone that has always questioned life, my existence, and why I'm here.

Maybe it's because I never knew my biological father, that I was a 60's baby born out of wedlock and that my mother's decision to keep me was made final by the universe. That I withstood her anguish and desperate actions. But that I held on. That I . . .

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February 02, 2015

Indecision

My Nemesis to Progress

OMG!! I drive myself insane. My brain doesn't stop jumping from one thing to the next.

Deciding to set up this blog was a great idea and I couldn't be happier BUT deciding how to come across, what to reveal about myself, my idealistic long term goal for how I want this to play out is kicking me left, right, and all over the place.

. . .

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January 31, 2015

Anchored to Me

Blogging for my Sanity

The word 'anchor' has been making random appearances in my brain lately. Tapping at my thoughts as if hoping to be let in. And I can't help but think it's no coincidence. That maybe the universe is giving me a nudge. A well meaning "Hey Ruth, get yourself together!" Telling me that perhaps it's time to anchor . . .

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January 30, 2015

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